Lessons I have learned

Never has so little sleep been had by so many and fought by so few


So here I am, not minutes from the mighty Bospherous. The place where empires have been made, where battles have been fought and trade has been done for longer than most men wear the same pair of pants on a weekend. Which is quite a long time. Am I excited? All I can say is that I have never been so bloody knackered in all my life. It’s hard you know, conquering an empire. However, this last few days have been a time of great learning.

In the last 3 days this is what I have learnt:

Moving
It’s not so hard to do if you stay sober. That’s the easy bit. What is hard is the paperwork.

Removal men
Just because you have a mullet doesn’t make you a bad person. Actually you can be pretty useful.

Four star hotels
Are not all stars are created equal. Never pass up the chance of a quaint hotel for one with a gym. A fancy uniformed concierge does not help you in a shoe box sized room when you hve to put a quilt on your case and sleep on it.

Turkish baths
Are bloody great. But try and find one appropriate to your sex. Unless you are a big hairy Turkish man with not much to do except watch a woman get massaged in soap in a steamy room.

Man cannot live on bread alone
It’s hard being veggie in Turkey.

Climate
Since when has the ‘go to Turkey’ campaign ever shown scenes of freezing sleet and snow? Bloody false advertising.

Vogue
If you ever go there its fab, chi chi and has the most specatular views. Just make sure your company is paying.

Shopping
They sell cheddar cheese in every supermarket. Now that’s what I call civililised.

The social scene
I’ve already been for coffee with the guy who set up the expat website here. Last night I was in the company of a man who owns 11 factories in china, a guy who does the retail for Fendi and Louis Vuitton, and a guy who heads up the asian branch of an oil company. On Tuesday I am seeing Wendy’s friend Adam from Ankara. As usual my social life improves at a rate of 4:1 with my career.

Turkish
You have to learn it, and pretty damn quick.

Anyway, so concludes the lessons for today. I’m off to dinner with a load of new friends.

Ahoj!