Working girls, the bad date and why I need more shoes

There comes a time in every gals life when she has to work, unless of course she gets to live the dream by finding that rich handsome millionaire to marry sometime in her 20’s. However as THAT particular career plan never really happened (and I attriburte it to being moved to ‘Biggleswade’ as a teen – where the only wads of paper anyone ever had on their person in large amounts was anti social behaviour orders from the police) I have been forced to resign myself to a lifetime of office drudgery.

So far in my short and unillustrious career, I have been fairly lucky as far as office relationships go. One girl tried to bully me once at a newspaper in England, but that didn’t last long because I am far more scary than she. Plus she was just throwing her considerable weight around because she was screwing the editor and, as with most of her (and his) relationships, that pretty much ended as soon as he sobered up for a brief spell.

In the Czech Republic I didn’t really understand most of what was said most of the time, which meant I pretty much liked everyone because if they were fools, I didn’t know about it.

So fast forward to Turkey, a complex social system defined by what your job is, what you wear, who you know and how much bling you can cram onto your fingers. There is no avoiding it, my clothes are old and outdated and what I once mistook for a fabulous collection of shoes, with their worn heels and scuffed toes, no longer cut it. And unfortunately a 4 quid blouse from Promod and 7 year old Next suit (one size too small) does not a business executive make.

I, of course, am lost in a sea of social nuances. I never know when to keep my mouth shut and I have a habit of speaking to everyone in the same way - no matter who they are. I’m the sort of person who blathers on, only to writhe in her bed at night, unable to sleep, fretting about what I might have said wrong, who I have probably offended or which cat I have let out the bag. Thank God I didn’t get the PR position here. I’d have been a disaster.

All in all though my progess is slow, but it’s steady. Which I suppose is to be expected considering it’s my first major leap in years and I have been thrust from the world of creative concepts, cute advertising taglines and designing cool magazine concepts into a world of ARPU’s, KPI’s, CDI’s, BHT’s, COPS and a whole string of other acronyms I never really had to deal with until now. It’s enough to put you off the alphabet forever.

Socially, however, things are pretty good. I have had three dates since I arrived here, which is three more than I have had in living Czech memory (which due to copious amounts of wine was pretty short).

Todays lunch date, with the general manager of Hyundais weapons branch (did you know they make tanks? And trains? Well you do now) was nothing short of an absolute farce. First of all I couldn’t find the building, which was the skyscraper right next door, in heels on uneven terrain. Lots of unneccessary and toe crunching steps for no reason. My next faux pas was to empty the entire contents of my lunch tray (sauce and all) down the front of my trousers and smash all the crockery in the process bringing all of the restaurant to a gaping halt. Brilliant. My date seemed unperturbed by the fact he had invited a retard to lunch, which obviously means there is something quite wrong with him. I only just fished the last kidney bean out my trouser pocket a minute ago. I didn't even order kidney beans, how does that work? Sadly he is really not my type anyway and his hair could do with a wash.

I never was one for meeting people off websites or hanging out on the typical expat scene, but I have found the expats here to be an absolutely lovely bunch. Probably because they are a slightly more well rounded assortment than you tend to get in Prague, i.e. they can drink lots AND do interesting stuff AND they have generally lived in many many different cultures, unlike the people off the expats.cz site who settle in their first foreign city and think they are Richard Attenborough.

This week I am working hard again. My boss Martin is pleased with what I have done, which makes me happy as he is so busy I haven’t been able to hassle him for many explanations or help. Tomorrow I may go to the foreign correspondants club again. Friday is a small goodbye party for my German friend who is off travelling for a while and Saturday could see me going dancing with a Turkish chap I had lunch with last Sunday. But then again I may have to work.

I was asked to give a speech on ‘the youth market’ on Monday at a marketing club but I think I am going to have to cancel as all of my deadlines are next week. I’m off back to Prague in April to see Will before he moves to Kiev, see my friend who is undergoing chemo for quite extensive cancer, and visit all my other favourite people in the world.

Oh and I did a British Army fitness test this week. I mostly rank ‘excellent’ except in running where I am on the border of ‘average’ and ‘good’. I have also lost 6kg since August.