Fond farewells in the house from hell

So i've had a vaguely action packed week. First of all the lovely Klara visited me from Budapest for 3 days. We spent a lot of time eating fish and wandering about. On at least two evenings we stayed in and watched DVD's. We were simply too tired.

On Saturday I held The Last Showdown at La Casa De La Cucaracha. I had 10 or 15 people over for drinks, and we managed to consume enough to float a battleship.


Have you ever noticed that everyone always brings a bottle of red and then drinks nothing but white?

I wonder how many parties these poor unloved full bodied reds have been passed around, sitting jauntily on the kitchen sideboard, trying to look their best in the hope that someone might pick them up and then sighing in disappointment as they prepare for yet another cab ride across town the following Saturday night. Actually sounds like a few women I know.

Today the international movers came to give me a quote. They will remove my stuff on Wednesday. In between that I have a string of customs paperwork to clear including getting lawyers to notarize documents, packing, going to utility companies and cutting off my services. I also have to go into Vodafone this afternoon to finalise everything.

Now I am starting to get a little sad about leaving Turkey and am pondering all of the things that I am going to miss about the place. The friends, the food, the sea, the friendliness, the weather...

My pest infested palace, however, seems to be aware that I am leaving and is acting with all the spite of a malevolent child. Suddenly wardrobe doors have started falling off their hinges, radiators have sprung leaks, bizarre mould spores (the like of which I have never seen) have appeared, paint and plaster has started to fall off the walls in great chunks, windows now won't shut properly, electrical appliances have started to make odd noises. And I swear I saw a cockroach the other night.

To top it all, this morning men started demolishing the abandoned house opposite. And after demolition will come building. So its a probably a good time to be leaving.

When I move to Prague I am going to have a shiny new flat. NEW I tell you. With nothing previously touched by human hand. With big shiny clean appliances that work.

This morning, aside from trying to fix the wardrobe doors, I found myself impregnating ladies sanitary towels with insect spray and putting them in all my wardrobes and suitcases (thanks for the tip Paul) in an attempt to stop the buggers following me. If the adverts on TV are anything to go by, leagues of cockroaches will suddenly find themselves able to roller blade, sing and wear white trousers with abandon no matter at what stage they are in their cycle.

I am waiting for His Royal Hairiness to tell me when he will be coming to Istanbul this week from the Cappadocia. Aside from the TV series he will also be acting in a movie next month. He plays a traditional Muslim man. There is a sex scene. He will be naked and has been studiously growing his armpit hair for the role. Apparently I am going to the premier. I'm not quite sure how I feel about seeing my chap snogging another woman in front of millions.


Oh and for your amusement, please check out the details of the 'muffmatic' I have recently had installed. Click on the pic to make it larger....